I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
