Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
