he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My ass is underappreciated
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
