Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I party with great urgency now.
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