Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
