I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
