we have officially lost it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
