how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
