You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
