He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Boobs speak an international language.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
