Porn is love you can see.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
