We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
