And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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