You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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