so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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