Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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