I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
