I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
