They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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