i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
