call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
