actually, I'm a sock model
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
