He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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