hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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