i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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