That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize