it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
