She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
