So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
