I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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