this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
