she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
