Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
