i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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