in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
wanna go halves on a baby?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
