It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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