So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
