Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you will always have a special place in my vag
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
