WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
