Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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