i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
