You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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