I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
