those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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