i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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