is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
