You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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