I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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