also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
