Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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